The Attack of the Squirrels

The last two weeks have brought dozens of squirrels to me. The first week, they would run across the street in front of my van. They were never in danger of being hit or run over, the distance was always enough. But, they kept dashing across the street in front of me every day and different times during the day.

This week, they've been waving to me from the side of the road. I always just happen to see them. And, yes, this is an actual phenomenon; I'm not making this up and it's real.

My job at this point is to figure out, understand and embrace the message that these little creatures are giving me. Squirrels to me are seemingly busy, mindless creatures. But, then there was the one time I saw a mother and father skittering about and looking down sadly at their baby who fell out of the nest and was killed when it landed. So I believe they can and do love.

Squirrels also signify determination and persistence. So, they are busy, determined and persistent. And yeah, that's me.

And the fact that they're no longer running in front of me, but now they are sitting on the sidelines waving... What does that mean?

I've gotten so far away from the music - so far away from actual singing that it has been painful. Music heals; sound is a vibration. My voice is healing to me and soothing and beautiful. I am not coming from a standpoint of vanity at all - but more reflecting on the gift that God gave to ME. This is what it does for me.

All of my work the last couple of years has centered around the internet, building websites, updating websites, talking to people, interviewing people, posting interviews... I enjoy this immensely, but it is not the primary joy for me. Singing is and I have to fight my way back to it. Maybe that's why the squirrels were slowing me down - telling me to stop, slow down, get across the street and refocus myself, my being and my energy.

There's only so much time in the day though. How do I find the time to do it all?

I have been very frustrated and lethargic the last couple of years. Felt like I hit a brick wall and I'm stuck there. I've learned a lot and grown a lot, but I haven't shared it with my voice.

A psychic person once told me that without singing, other areas of my life would be eaten away. It's been two years since I've put singing on the back burner of my activities and it has taken it's toll. I don't speak on it much, but know what it is.

So, all of that to say - thank you universe for reminding me of what should be at the forefront of my life leading me and guiding me. I am going to put singing back in its proper place. I'm going to go back to being the way I was. I would bounce in and out of venues and watch my friends perform, gathering energy and momentum. That's one of the things that I've stopped doing and I definitely feel it. I am drained, tired - exhausted actually - and have lost my spark. I'm going to get it back. I'm going to be me again.